Confessions from a distracted Mom

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The wake-up call came when my son kept bringing me my phone. I started to wonder, “Man, doesn’t he think I can live without this thing?” Most likely he was just trying to be helpful but it made me stop and think and I realized its about time to hit the reset button on this whole electronic thing.

Honestly I’m writing this more for my own good then yours. I need accountability and I’m giving you my friends, the permission to check in on me. Also, I just need to get all of these jumbled thoughts out of my mind and hopefully writing them down will help so that I can go sleep.

This is some raw truth and its humiliating but I feel like this is an issue that we as moms have to talk about if we want victory. If we truly want the results we are striving for in our children, we’ve got to set some boundaries for ourselves and keep each other accountable. At least I do. And I’m guessing I’m not the only one.

It’s an issue that is way easier just kept silent. Its easy to hide. No one on earth really knows how much wasted time we spend. Thats what it is. Wasted. Its robbing us of something so much greater and more valuable. 

I’ve been feeling it for some time now…. a few weeks or months at least. This feeling of distraction. My brain feels full and yet somehow empty at the same time. My mind is filled with the news headlines, the daily blog posts, the encouraging Facebook groups, pictures of my friends’ kids (these posts are the best by the way, so don’t stop now), pictures of food that looks barely edible and pictures of food that looks incredible, stories, memes, some very good inspiring things and other things that we take in on Social Media or the Internet that is simply clutter. This post is not about the pictures and stories, its about how much TIME I’m spending consuming them.

I’ve been convicted of how EASY it is to check Facebook over and over again through out the day when I have a second. I sit down to feed the baby and I’m scrolling through Pinterest. My baby doesn’t seem to mind. But when I look up from my screen there is my toddler. I’m wasting the precious minutes with my son and its SO NOT FAIR to him. Its not fair to only half way look when he comes to tell me something.

Our children deserve better. They will not reach their fullest potential in a home where mom is only half engaged in her calling as a mom. Parenting is a full time job! Its hard work and we need to be fully engaged if we want the results we so much desire.

I discovered that the times I reached for my phone the most were when I simply wanted to zone-out. Maybe the parenting wasn’t going so great at the moment or I was tired of counting to 10, bored playing tractors, maybe I simply wanted to read something for an adult instead of yet another children’s story…whatever the case, it begins to happen sub-consciensely and you almost don’t realize what is happening. It slowly gets more addicting. 

So, about a week ago I made a resolve to connect with my son at all times. Look him in the eyes when he talks, give him my undivided attention. I made the commitment to only browse social media, shop online, etc. when he was napping in the afternoon. I told Stan after a few days that I was noticing a huge difference in my son and how he was responding. He’s a fun little human being and my eyes were opened to things I’ve probably been missing. We had some really great, uninterrupted  play times, I felt like I was truly connecting with him and he was showering me with affection. We were getting somewhere.

But today I messed up.

I went back on my resolve and I’m telling you, its not worth it. I became impatient and short with my son trying to rush him out the door on errands. I was distracted and my joy was zapped. Maybe it was guilt because I knew better.

I was discouraged at how easily I can go back on my own commitments. 

But whatever the case, I want to live in Freedom and Joy everyday. I’m so thankful for this wake-up call because its not too late. I don’t want to look up from my phone and realize that my son and daughter are grown. I want to truly experience these days and live in the moment.

With God’s help I want to be very intentional with my time. I want to be in the moment even if that means playing tractors on the floor and making roaring noises. Yes, I will even though tractors is the last thing that interests me. 

I commit to pray for my children more.

I commit to work on engaging the hearts of my children and truly connecting.

Any other mom out there ready to commit to FOCUS with me? I’d love to hear from you of practical ways you are living this out. 

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, sometimes it takes dedication and hard work but I’m praying that this can be more than just another New Year’s resolution. It is a change that brings my family true joy.

Blessings and love to ya’ll. I’m getting a fresh vision of Motherhood and its a glorious one.

Ps. We need to BE the type of person we expect our children to become. How can I expect my son to stay free from online addictions if he sees me glued to the screen? Now, thats a scary thought. 

{If you’d like to see the video that inspired these thoughts check out “Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace” on YouTube. Its an interesting 15 minutes that will open your eyes.}

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13 thoughts on “Confessions from a distracted Mom

  1. Wow… Just wow! This is what has been on my mind lately. You put it into words. That frazzled why am I not getting more done? My dear husband who works long and hard to make a living for us. Am I pulling my share? It is such an addiction. Sonny and I have been discussing this very issue. It feels as if we can hardly drive down the road together and just sit and talk. I or him or both of us think of that one thing we NEED to do real quick on the phone. This gives me renewed vision to do what’s best for me and my family and most of all for my little girl. There was a couple of weeks that I actually just took Facebook and Pinterest off my phone. I also totally deleted my CNN app. Thanks for writing this. It touched my heart!

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    1. Thanks for sharing Judy! I can totally relate with the phone thing while driving…that’s another thing I’m working on 😉 i keep thinking how glad I am that my mom was so dedicated to us and didn’t have distractions in her life and I want to give my children that gift as well. We are in this fight together! Keep pressing on!

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  2. Wow, Joy…, I could have written this! Just since Elliot is born, I’ve had so much sit-down time, and well, why not reach for my phone! But, I also have a 4 yr old that reaches for my phone and wants to “watch something” continually! How will she want anything else if mama spends so much time looking at her phone. Here’s to banding together to overcome! I’m in it with you! Thanks for sharing!!

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  3. Thank you Joy for being honest with what we all face in today’s world. I also have little people who bring me my phone whenever they see it laying around the house. I find it easy to want to zone out & read something any time I sit and rest or feed the baby. I’m afraid I am missing moments I could be praying or engaging in their continuous activities. I’m also glad you shared this as sometimes I feel I’m the only one who feels these things about our handy devices.
    Parenting is hard and our world offers us countless ways to be distracted & addicted to the lesser and not engaged in the most important work in front of us. Our home, husband, children & people who are physically in front of us.
    Good point too on the thought of our children growing up to be free of addictions online. I shutter at the thought of how easy it is for our homes to be invaded with evil right from a phone, iPad, or computer. While we may be addicted to reading good, uplifting articles…what will our children grow up to view with the excuse that mom was always busy on her phone.
    Time is precious! Let us live for what matters, with eternity in mind! God bless you for sharing. I needed this today.

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    1. Aw so good hearing from you Hope! Glad to hear that I’m not the only one 🙂 it’s such a real struggle but I do believe that we can be overcomers! We don’t have to be defeated in this area. Thanks for your encouragement. God bless you as you raise your children for Him! I love your passion. (I got your super cute Christmas card in the mail the other day. Thanks!)

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  4. This is so so good. I’m not a mother and I don’t even have a husband but I think I need this reminder even more. Thank you. I want my siblings and my students to feel heard by me without feeling like they’re competing with social media.

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  5. Thank you so much for this Joy, it’s been such a struggle for me too, I almost can tear up thinking of how I am taking away from the quality of moments and life by being on social media. I am so ready for this commitment! Here’s to a clear mind, teaching my son, being more of a quality wife, and having time to read a book! 😉

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